You are faced with a vexing conundrum.
You are Tending Bar at Medieval Living History event.
A beefy fellow dressed in standard mufti (civilian wear) saunters over with his short shorted and tramp stamped bleached blond companion, and taps one of the knights having an ale on his fully mailed shoulder, and says:
“You look like a Pussy in that get up. Don’t you know it’s not Halloween yet?”
He then roughly shoves him aside, and asks you for a Coors light.
You can smell the aggression coming off both of the testosterone flooded men, and you have just a split second to deal with the situation before many things and people get broken.
A. State to the offending idiot “Sorry sir, but we have a policy to not provide strong drink to people under the mental age of 12”, and then take out a baseball bat.
B. Use your sleepy time knock out aerosol dispenser ring on the offending idiot, watch him drop like a big heavy bag of stupid, and then call security, giving them instructions to place him outside the front gate, after removing his pants. You give his female friend a good talking to, and the phone number of local relationship abuse hotline.
C. Start singing the national anthem, loudly , high pitched and off key.